Your Learning Style

Figuring Out Your Learning Style "Take a pointer from a wise sage named Socrates -- the one who said, "Know thyself." Each of us has our own unique learning style. For example, are you the person who says, "I can't think when it's noisy. I need quiet!" On the other hand, does your roommate always have the stereo playing when she studies? That actually could be because she needs to screen out distracting sounds with music. While some of us like quiet, others need music; some like bright light and others dim; some like to be bundled up in an afghan, while others need the fan. There are those who learn best by making lists, outlines, and charts -- others by reading or note-taking. And still others learn best in small group discussions. Take advantage of the offices on campus that can teach you more about your learning style. By taking time out to get to know your own style of learning -- not only will it help you make the grade, but Socrates would give you a gold star."

- By Cheryl Lossie

How Do You Study Best? "It's important as a student to realize one's learning style if you want to be successful. By learning styles I mean that we need to understand the ways that we study the best. Whether it be quiet, whether it be with noise, whether it be in a place where there is a lot of lighting, not much lighting, whether it be lying down, or sitting up. Those are important to the success of how well we will learn and how well we will take in the information that we are dealing with. Another thought I would like to leave with you regarding success as an academic student is that we should put aside a time of day that we want to make use for studying. Consistency is the key to success."

10:25 PM by SOOCH · 0

Multiple choice exam tips

General Rule: Break each question into the stem and the alternatives. Get an understanding of the stem before looking at and choosing an alternative. Underline key terms and clue words in the stem. When you run into vague terminology, define in your own words. Think of the correct answer and then look for it among the alternatives.

1. Don't guess too soon! You must select not only a correct answer, but the best answer. It is therefore important that you read all of the options and not stop when you come upon one that seems likely. 

2. You must select not only a technically correct answer, but the most completely correct answer. Since "all of the above" and "none of the above" are very inclusive statements, these options, when used, tend to be correct more often than would be predicted by chance alone. 

3. Be wary of options which include unqualified absolutes such as "never," "always," "is," "are," "guarantees," "ensures." Such statements are highly restrictive and very difficult to defend. They are rarely (though they may sometimes be) correct options. 

4. The less frequently stated converse of the above is that carefully qualified, conservative, or "guarded" statements tend to be correct more often than would be predicted by chance alone. Other things being equal, favor options containing such qualifying phrases as "may sometimes be," or "can occasionally result in." 

5. Be wary of the extra-long or "jargony option." These are frequently used as decoys. 

6. Use your knowledge of common prefixes, suffixes, and word roots to make intelligent guesses about terminology that you don't know. A knowledge of the prefix "hyper," for instance, would clue you that hypertension refers to high, not low, blood pressure. 

7. Be alert to give-aways in grammatical construction. The correct answer to an item stem which ends in "an" would obviously be an option starting with a vowel. Watch also for agreement of subjects and verbs. 

8. Utilize information and insights that you've acquired in working through the entire test to go back and answer earlier items that you weren't sure of. 

9. If you are not certain of an answer, guess... but do so methodically. Eliminate some choices you know are incorrect, then relate each alternative back to the stem of the question to see if it fits. Narrow down the choice to one or two alternatives and then compare them and identify how they differ. Finally, make an informed guess. 

10. If you have absolutely no idea what the answer is, can't use any of the above techniques, and there is no scoring penalty for guessing, choose option B or C. Studies indicate that these are correct slightly more often than would be predicted by chance alone. 

11. When you get "all the above," "none of the above," or "a,b, not c" type questions, treat each alternative as a true-false question and relate it back to the question stem. 

12. Think the answer is wrong? Maybe you should change it? Studies indicate that when students change their answers they usually change them to the wrong answer. Therefore, if you were fairly certain you were correct the first time, leave the answer as it is. 

13. Finally, the best way to ensure selection of the correct option is to know the right answer. A word to the test-wise is sufficient.

10:19 PM by SOOCH · 0

Establishing Good Study Habits

Efficient Use of Time "I'm here to tell you what I think is a key to academic survival and success. The first and most important thing I feel, at least to survival and success in the classroom, is efficient use of your time outside the classroom. Remember, there are 24 hours in a day. Set aside two to three hours each day for studying. This will leave you with five to six hours -- after we subtract time for our classes, meals, and a good night's sleep -- to do those things that we like to do much more than studying. The next thing that I feel contributes to survival and success in the classroom is periodic review of your lecture notes and the appropriate chapters in your textbooks. Periodic review and beginning to study for your exams early will save you time in the long run and it will prevent cramming. That way you can be well rested and more motivated and less anxious on test day. The last thing you can do to help get good grades is take advantage of all the academic resources at your university. It can only help you."

- By Dante Battles

The Power of Cooperation "Education often looks like competition. We compete for interest in school, for grades when we're in school, and for jobs when we leave school. In such a climate it is easy to overlook the power of cooperation that is developed through study support groups. Study support groups feed you energy. People are social animals and we draw strength from groups. Aside from the comradery, the fellowship and the fun, support groups can assist you by elevating your spirit. There will be days when you just don't want to work on your education. Other members of the study group, however, can support you and encourage you. In addition to drawing strength from the group when you're down, you can give support to others yourself as they need it. A study support group is also a good place to build rewarding relationships with people. So remember your friends and classmates when you study."

- By Mike Brown

Mixing Studies with Social Activities "The most successful students balance social activities with good study habits. A diversion from studies will alleviate stress and help prevent you from becoming fatigued. So make sure you take a break for an hour after studies to meet with friends, to play some cards, work out at the gym, or to gab with a new acquaintance. You'll find your concentration sharpen when you do study, if you plan a social activity afterwards. To develop a healthy social life, develop routine study habits. After supper, lug your books and homework to the library, find a comfortable and quiet niche, and study for two or three hours, taking intermittent 10 minute breaks every 45 minutes or so. Make a friend with whom you share similar study habits, and share a table or a study space with them. Remember, after you've completed your work for the evening, take time for a social activity before retiring for the evening. You'll wake up feeling refreshed and prepared for another day."

- By Mark Crilly

Setting a Comfortable Pace "Are you frustrated at not performing at a level equal to your potential in your courses? This tip is to help maximize your academic efforts. A good grade in a course is almost never the result of luck. The key is to set yourself at a comfortable pace for studying. What is your comfortable pace? Once you determine this, consistency is the secret. Setting aside time for focused study every day will probably result in a higher grade point average. Make falling behind a thing of the past! Also, for each course you have, rate your interest level and the type of course, list the course requirements, set a goal for the grade you wish to earn, and establish a study schedule. A study schedule will guarantee better grades and may actually reduce the study time you spend now. Be sure to incorporate some review time each study period. Your study schedule must be convenient and you must adhere to it. Increased study time with consistency will spell success. I have seen it work for students."

- By Jean Fera

Changing Your Habits "How are you? I'm Dr. John Feldmeier with an Academic Survival Tip. But first, I want you to find a pencil or pen so you can write down what I'm about to say. Ready, please write this down. The past does not equal the future. Once again, the past does not equal the future. Next, I want you to take what you have written down and place it where you will see it each and every day. Okay, what does it mean? It means those poor study habits such as not completing assignments, missing classes, and staying up too late before your next class do not have to be repeated in the future. Who can make these changes? Yes, you're correct. You, and only you, can change the future to achieve more success and productivity. Remember, don't let the past be your future. Make these changes for a better life."

- By John Feldmeier

Personal Maintenance "We all know the importance of maintaining a car. We can push it to the limit, but sooner or later it starts to run poorly. By setting aside some time for a little maintenance, we can keep it running smoothly and efficiently. Unfortunately, we tend to forget these simple truths when they're applied to college life. We push ourselves to keep up with demands and ignore warning signs such as decreased productivity and a negative attitude. We fail to recognize that some time spent on rest and relaxation may actually save time in the long run. People often notice that their mood improves and they work more effectively after taking a break. Personal maintenance may include very simple and inexpensive activities such as taking a walk in the snow, having dinner with a friend, or listening to some favorite music. So take a little time out today to do something fun and relaxing -- your system just might run a little smoother tomorrow."

- By Gary LaBine

Immediate Review of Class Notes "The study suggestion that I recommend is the one that I am still working on applying in my last semester of graduate school -- that is, to go home and review as soon as possible what you have heard and learned in class. Otherwise, 80% of what was learned will be forgotten. So, as soon as you can after class, review the class notes or the related chapter text. When you do this type of review, you may have the satisfying experience of ideas relating, making sense, and fitting together for you. At times, you may also experience a very interesting phenomena. Sometimes it feels like light bulbs are going on in your brain when these connections are made. And that's the good side. The other side is that this requires self-discipline and requires planned effort. Yes, I mean a planned study schedule. But it is a rewarding learning experience and I recommend it to you. This may also be done in reverse and this may also be easier. Immediately prior to a class, read the chapter text material that will be covered in the lecture that day. You will be one of the few students who will understand the lecture, be able to answer questions, ask questions and thus participate. And you will feel "real" knowledgeable. This has an instant positive feedback effect and will also enable you to retain more information. So, schedule daily study time and schedule one or the other of these techniques into your planned study time."

- By Nina Maddalon-Perino

Staying Awake "There are times when, no matter how interesting a subject might be, it's still very difficult to stay awake when studying. Say you have several chapters to read for the next class. You have the time to do it, but you're having trouble keeping those "baby blues" open and focused. Try this. First, buy an egg timer, one of those little white ones that clicks off the seconds quietly. Set the timer for ten minute intervals. Read until the timer goes off. Then get up and move around for a couple minutes -- maybe sip some fruit juice. Then set the timer and repeat the process. If the moving around and sipping isn't enough, try some deep knee bends, sit ups, or muscle-stretching activities. The idea is to keep the blood moving through the brain. You'll be surprised at the amount of information you cover in a short period of time."

- By Donna Patterson

Put Academics First Life "As a Department Chair, I have the opportunity to talk with many second semester freshmen in my area; unfortunately, some of them are on academic probation or have lower Q.P.A.'s than they want. And the reason I hear most often is, "Well, I goofed off the first semester and didn't really study that hard." That statement causes me to advise students to do two things:Put academics first and really mean it. This might include studying in a quiet place, reading assignments more than once, taking copious notes, and starting on your papers at least a week before they're due. Get enough sleep and eat well. Don't stay up late night after late night talking with your friends; try getting up for breakfast and studying before class. This means, my friends, that you can socialize only on weekends and still not much in the beginning until you see where you're going to stand grade-wise. Remember, you don't flunk out if you miss parties; you flunk out when you miss classes and don't commit to doing your best work."

- By Marilyn Sheerer

More About Time Management  "Are you having trouble remembering information when you take a test? Do you feel overwhelmed with the amount of material you need to learn? Information stored in short-term memory can begin to decay within a short time unless effort is made to place the material in long term memory. Research indicates that unless you review within 24 hours, 80% of the material can be forgotten. By reviewing information as soon as possible you will not only increase the amount of material you will remember, but you will also decrease the hours of study needed before an exam. You can build review sessions into your daily schedule by following a few simple steps. First, avoid scheduling back to back classes. Use the time in between your classes to review your notes. Dot your "i's", cross your "t's" and write out abbreviations. This will only take you two or three minutes and will aid in retention of the material. Second, use small amounts of time to review. Try to avoid marathon study sessions, since they tend to be overwhelming and cause students to procrastinate even more. Third, time wasted in line at the bookstore or waiting at the laundromat can be used to review and organize notes. The key is time management. Learning to budget your time will give you more time for frequent reviewing so that less time is spent cramming."

- By Kate Strosser

Don't Panic "You know, it's really easy, especially during this time of the semester, to look at all the things you have to do, and -- well -- panic. Some people even go into withdrawal because they don't know what to do -- they are overcome, and do nothing at all, and of course the worst happens. The solution to this problem sounds flip, but it really isn't. Don't look at the whole picture. Keep your attention focussed only on each individual step. Focus on your math assignment -- don't also worry about your English paper and communications project. Or, write that first draft now, and worry about the final format later. But, above all, do it now. If you keep up with each step, the whole will take care of itself automatically. You don't have to worry, and who knows, you might even get some sleep."

- By Peter van den Honert

Studying Can Be Fun "I run across countless students who view studying as arduous, if not painful. I would like to share a few tips that might help you approach studying in an agreeable and productive fashion. First, schedule a block of time each day that is created specifically for studying. Choosing the right time is crucial. Some of us study most effectively in the morning; some in the evening. The key is setting a study time that fits you personally, i.e. when you are at your sharpest. If your difficulty is finding time to study, chances are good that you're in the habit of doing something else that takes away from your studies. Second, choose your studying place and be faithful to it. This includes choosing a place that is nearby, quiet, and one lacking distractions. It is also important that you find a place that is only associated with studying. Many students often with good intentions make the mistake of choosing their bed as their special studying place. Unfortunately, these students find that what was going to be their study time turned into their nap time. Third, create a pleasing atmosphere in which to study. Put on your favorite slippers or make yourself a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate. Make your time special. The trick is to change your feelings about studying. If you can do this, your studying time can be more pleasurable and productive."

- By Chris Mazzarella

Why Fail When You Can Succeed? "When I was the Dean of Students at Philander Smith College in 1965, I did a research project to determine why students fail. What I found to be true in that survey of study habits more than 30 years ago still rings true today--students fail because they don't know how to study or they don't know what it means to study. The best advice I can give you to enable the achievement of academic excellence is to develop sound study skills. First, make sure you have a good study environment, a good desk, a sturdy chair, good light, comfortable room temperature and a quiet atmosphere. That means you should eliminate all external and internal distractions. Second, get a good overview of your assignment before you start your work. Know what skills, facts and ideas you are expected to master and the ground you are expected to cover. Start with your most difficult subject first, while your mind is freshest and most receptive. Develop a study schedule and stick to it. Schedule your study time when you know you are at your best. Successful students agree that a weekly schedule works best and provides the flexibility necessary to make adjustments according to assignments. Finally, study your professors as well as the subject matter. Ask faculty for study tips specific to the subject at hand. The faculty in the Department of Academic Support Services can provide additional assistance to you in developing good study habits."

- By Frank Pogue

Preparing to Participate in Class "I have a very active schedule and couldn't accomplish the goals I've set for myself if I didn't take time for preparation. Preparation can aid you as well. You'll find that going to class is much more enjoyable if you're prepared to participate. Not only will a professor take notice that you are ready for class, but you'll find that you are also able to assist your classmates by engaging them in discussions of that day's material. It's up to you to decide if you want just a college degree or if you truly want a college education. Prepare in advance so you don't find yourself behind the "eight ball" when it is time to study for that all-important class or test. As a recent non-traditional student at Edinboro University, I know what I'm talking about when I say preparation is the key."

- By Kip Allen

10:18 PM by SOOCH · 0

EXAM hints for students

Exam Hints - By Dr. King

Exam week can be difficult, dangerous, even overwhelming. You may feel helpless and hopeless, as though there is nothing you can do. After a semester of too many classes and too much work, you think you'll have to stay up all night studying to pass your final exams.

But wait! Help is on the way!

Below are my handy hints for exam time, developed during ten arduous years as a student and fifteen more as a teacher.

Two Weeks Before the Exam

• Make up a set of study sheets for each class.
• Each set of study sheets should summarize the reading, your class notes, and any handouts.
• Type the study sheets so they are easily readable. Use plenty of bold type and white space to accentuate important ideas.
• For the next two weeks, read through your study sheets three times each day. Do not try hard to memorize the information. Just read the notes once, three times per day.

The Night Before the Exam

• Read your study sheets as usual.
• Go to bed early and get a good night's sleep.

The Day of the Exam

• Set your alarm and get up early. Allow plenty of time to get to the exam.
• Eat a good breakfast, including simple sugars (fruit juice), complex carbohydrates (cereal or toast), and protein (milk, eggs, meat, cheese). This will help your blood sugar stay at a stable level, and since your brain runs on sugar, you don't want to have an empty tank.
• Caffeine has been shown to increase alertness and performance. If you are a habitual user of caffeine, be sure to get your accustomed dose.
• Take along a piece of fruit to eat during the exam. This will help keep your blood sugar even, so you don't tire during the second half of the exam period.

During the Exam

• If you feel tense, relax, take a deep breath, and remember that you know the material because you've been reviewing for two weeks.
• Keep your eye on the clock while taking the exam. Allow enough time to finish the entire test. Avoid focusing on one question and running out of time on others.
• Read the entire exam before beginning to write. Know your enemy, in other words.
• Be sure your name is on the test. (This sounds silly, but sometimes if we feel tense or pressured, we forget the little things.)
• Read each question a second time, then answer that question.
• Go on to the next question. Remember to look at the clock and keep moving through the test.
• After the first hour and fifteen minutes, relax, stretch, eat your fruit. Calm down. You know the material.
• Use the entire exam period rather than rushing through the test.

Special Information for Students Taking Essay Exams

• Read the question carefully and analyze what the teacher wants in the answer. If the question has several parts, use these parts to structure your answer.
• Use the writing process: brainstorm, organize, outline, add supporting information, write, revise, edit.
• Write a version of the classic five-paragraph essay. Answer the question in the first paragraph of your essay. State and support one proof for your answer in each of the following paragraphs. Answer the question in different words in your concluding paragraph.

10:15 PM by SOOCH · 0

How to Be a Good Student

Introduction

The typical college campus is a friendly place; but it is also a competitive environment. The education you receive there, and the attitudes you develop, will guide you for the rest of your life. Your grades will be especially important in landing your first job, or when applying to graduate school. To be a successful student requires certain skills; but, these are skills that can be learned.

The Basics of Being a Good Student

• Prioritize your life: Doing well in school should be your top priority.
• Study: There is no substitute.
• Always attend class.
• Do all of the homework and assigned reading.
• Develop self-discipline.
• Manage your time.

Self-Discipline Made Easy

Human beings are creatures of habit. Therefore, form a habit of doing what you reason you should do. Is it not foolish for your behavior to contradict your own reasoning? And what could be more harmonious than finding yourself wanting to do what you know you should?

Train yourself so there is an immediate reaction-mechanism within you:

You reason that you should do something, and thus you do it.

Other people who seem to have less difficulty with self-discipline probably have simply had more practice at it, thereby making it less difficult; because, practice is what it takes.

Time Management

No matter how you slice it, there are only 24 hours in a day. Good time-management requires:

1. Note taking on more than you can handle.
2. Reasonably estimating the time required to perform each of the tasks at hand.
3. Actually doing what needs to be done.

Only you can do these things. A couple of thoughts, though, that may help spur you on:

• A minute now is as precious as a minute later. You can't put time back on the clock.
• If you're not ahead of schedule, then you're behind schedule. Because, if you try to remain right on schedule, then any mishap or misjudgment will cause you to fall behind---perhaps right at the deadline, when no recovery is possible.

Introspection

• Understand, and be honest with, yourself. All else follows from this.
• Be both athlete and coach: Keep one eye on what you are doing, and one eye on yourself.
• Take command of, and responsibility for, yourself.
• Face your insecurities head-on. Some common signs of insecurity: Asking a question to which you already know the answer; being artificially social with instructors or other students, when the real reason is to temporarily kill the pain.
• Form a positive self-image: Those students who are first entering college will probably have doubts about how well they will do. Try to do well immediately to instill an expectation of continuing to do well. Settle for nothing less. Nevertheless, try not be restricted by your past performance and experiences, good or bad. Learn from the past, but don't be bound by it. Seek out your weaknesses and attack them. Be realistic about your limitations; but, don't let this lead to becoming satisfied with them.

Taking a Course

Each student's attitude is some mixture of the following:

• He/She wants to learn the material.
• He/She wants to get a good grade.
• He/She doesn't care.

Each instructor's attitude is some mixture of the following:

• He/She wants students to learn the material.
• He/She wants grading to be fair and reflect students' knowledge and abilities.
• He/She doesn't care.

In order to do well in a course, it is up to you (the student) to do two things:

1. Learn the material.
2. Learn the instructor.

As for the latter, pay attention in class to the instructor's patterns, to what he/she emphasizes, etc. Gather information about the instructor from other students. A good instructor, however, will present their course in such a way that it will be of little benefit for the student to try to learn him/her, thereby forcing their students to learn the material.

Homework

• Keep in mind that your work is being graded by a human being. Thus:
  • Write legibly, orderly, and coherently.
  • Supply any commentary necessary to make it clear what you are attempting to do.
  Making the grader's job easier will more likely lead to you getting the benefit of doubt when it occurs.
• Don't think that getting the right answer to a homework problem implies that you have mastered the corresponding material. All you have done is solve one particular problem; that does not mean you have necessarily learned how to solve all such problems (such as the ones to appear on your exams). It's up to you to view the homework problems from this wider perspective.
• If available, always go over the solutions provided by the instructor, even if you did well on the assignment. He/She may demonstrate methods (perhaps more efficient) or provide useful information that you hadn't thought of.

Exams

• Preparation:
  • Roughly prioritize material as to its importance (primary, secondary, tertiary), and concentrate your studying on the most significant topics. Remember, the instructor only has a limited amount of time to test what you know and can do. Thus, keep in mind when preparing for an exam that the problems cannot be too complicated if they are to fit within the allotted time.
  • Study in ways that are suited to you.
    • Study with a group or alone based upon which is really best for you.
    • Do your most strenuous and important work during those times of the day that you work best.
  • Summarize or outline the course or text material in your own words. Writing a summary not only forces you to examine the subject matter in detail, but provides a compendium to review just prior to the exam.
  • Play it safe: Memorize somewhat more than what the instructor says is required. Bring a calculator even if it's not suggested. Etc.
  • Study old exams if the instructor is known to give similar exams. But, don't be fooled into thinking that since you were able to work through an old exam, it means you understand all the course material in general, and can perform in a test situation.
  • Bring your own paper and a watch.
  • Fighting exam anxiety: Convince yourself that all you can do is all you can do; but, don't let that lead you to become complacent. Just be determined to be "on" for the duration of the exam. (Give yourself a pep-talk to this effect prior to each exam.)
• Starting the exam:
  • Read the instructions thoroughly and carefully.
  • Skim over the entire exam prior to beginning work.
  • Don't necessarily do the problems in order. Instead, get those problems out of the way you feel confident you can do quickly and well. Observe how the problems are weighted, and direct your efforts to where you believe you can pick up points most easily. This does not necessarily mean attempting the most heavily weighted problem first; rather, it means first doing the problem for which you can accumulate points at the fastest rate. Indeed, there is a good chance that this is not the most heavily weighted problem, since many instructors dislike giving any one problem significantly greater or fewer points than the average, thereby underweighting the harder problems and overweighting the easier ones.
  • Before writing on any given problem, think. A small investment in time at the beginning can save time overall (for you might thereby choose a more efficient method of solving the problem).
  • Do precisely what is requested. In particular, don't waste time doing things that will not receive credit. For example, unless explicitly required, do not rewrite the exam problems on your paper.
• Pace yourself through the exam. Example: On a 50-minute exam worth a 100 points, you should be accumulating 2 points per minute; thus, a 26-point problem should be completed in 13 minutes. Do this calculation at the start of the exam if the problem weights are given.
• If only for psychological reasons, most graders use nonlinear grading by which the early points of a problem are easier to get:Therefore, always write something (meaningful) down for every problem, if only a little. At the other end, even with linear grading, there are diminishing returns in terms of points-per-effort in trying to squeeze every last point out of a given problem; if time is low, it may be better to move on.
• Communicate with the grader. In particular, if you are running out of time, state the steps you would perform if you were to continue the problem.
• Show your work and make clear your reasoning in order to have a chance to receive partial credit.
• As with homework, and even more importantly, neatness counts.
• In courses on subjective material (e.g., humanities), just regurgitate the material from class and the text(s). Supplying you own opinions may sound good in theory, but it has the risk of running counter to the opinions of the instructor or grader. Conversely, restatements of the class/text material are easy for the grader to recognize as something deserving credit. Remember: Unless the exam is multiple-choice, then a human being---who typically wants to grade the many exams in front of him/her as quickly and painlessly as possible---is doing the grading.
• Always check over your answers if you have time.

Further Suggestions

• Unify and simplify your knowledge: A textbook presents the subject in a particular form, as does an instructor. By their very natures, however, textbooks and lectures tend to present subjects sequentially. Take the extra step of understanding the material in your terms, which may involve recognizing relationships that could not be conveniently expressed in the order presented in the text(s) and lectures.
• Remember, almost every logically consistent topic is simple at its foundation. Try to recognize the simple underlying relationships in the subject at hand; these are often left unstated by instructors and textbooks.
• Try to learn general principles and methods. Learning by examples (putting the new in terms of the familiar) can only take you so far.
• Learn as many methods of problem-solving as you can. This is especially helpful for exams, when time is of the essence.
• Ask yourself questions. Why didn't the instructor or text(s) do this or that? Explore your own ideas. Try to understand the course material in detail.
• It is often said that the best way to learn something is to teach it. Do you know the subject matter well enough to explain it clearly and completely to someone else?
• Learn by observing others. Notice what works for them and consider incorporating those methods into yourself. Ask yourself "Why didn't I think of that?", and try to develop the related ability.
• Attempt to be methodical, neat, legible, deliberate, precise, knowledgeable, and reliable on the one hand, and creative, spontaneous, imaginative, smart, clever, articulate, and flexible on the other. The first mentality thrives on order, and inherently tries to do well what it already knows how to do; the second mentality thrives on disorder, and inherently tries to expand upon its abilities. Adopt the best of these two mentalities. Remember, every tool is a potential crutch. The first mentality may rely too heavily on already-mastered skills; but, the second mentality may fail to carefully apply those same skills.
• Think about and question everything, even the statements appearing here (and, yourself!). But, realize that it is equally foolish to be different merely for the sake of being different, as it is to mindlessly conform to the norm.
• For maximum efficiency, have several projects going at once. Then, if you get tired, frustrated, or bored working on one item, you can easily move onto something else, thereby staying productive as well as giving pending problems a chance to work themselves out subconsciously.
• Anticipate. For example, you may need to ask the instructor about the present assignment, but he/she is only guaranteed to be available at certain times; therefore, you should look over the assignment early.
• Forget pulling "all-nighters". These merely amount to borrowing from tomorrow, at which time you will find yourself considerably less functional. All-nighters are really an indication of not having properly planned your activities.
• If possible, bring your textbook(s) to class.
• Take your lecture notes in pencil, since any modifications can then be made quickly and neatly.

Closing

Overall, there is one basic trait that distinguishes successful students from those that are not:

Successful students force themselves to understand.

They do not merely go through the motions of attending class, reading the text(s), and doing the homework, expecting these actions to necessarily suffice. Rather, they are continually asking, "Do I really understand what's going on here?" They ask this question of themselves honestly, applying an internal barometer formed from experience to detect the slightest lack of understanding, be it ignorance or confusion. And, if the answer is "No", then the situation is viewed as unacceptable, and more effort is the response.

10:13 PM by SOOCH · 0

Why students should have Clubs and Organizations Involvement

Opportunities to Meet People "Your studies should be very important to you, but in order to be a successful student, you need to balance academics with a social outlet. A great way to meet both needs is through student clubs and organizations. Student clubs and organizations will provide you with a wide variety of opportunities to become involved on campus and throughout the community. Being a part of a club or organization will provide you with new life experiences, valuable leadership skills and abilities, and opportunities to express creativity and talent. It is important that you find an organization that best fits your needs. So, please remember to get involved."

- By Cindy Clark

Resume Benefits "If you'd like to become involved in some extra-curricular activity while being a student, that is a good idea. Participation with your peers to accomplish goals, as well as for social interaction, is worthwhile now and prepares you for similar involvement with professional organizations once you graduate. Involvement also looks good on your resume. You must remember your priorities, however, and keep your studies first. Good time management and study habits are imperative. At least two hours of study out of class for every hour in class is a good guideline. Good lecture and textbook note-taking is essential. Ask questions in class, read as you go, and answer questions at the end of the chapters. A monthly calendar should include the highlighted dates of upcoming quizzes, tests, assignment deadlines, and the meetings of your organizations. Remember, most organizations require a certain QPA for active membership. You might consider a club that is related to your major as one of your selections."

- By Ron Sturga

Resources for Athletes "Many athletes find that they have some trouble adjusting to the work load that they get from their classes. Along with all of the tough homework, the time commitment for a sport is sometimes 40 hours a week. There are some resources, though, that can help. First, talk to your coach if you are experiencing difficulties. They'll be happy to help you, because they want to see you do well in the classroom, as well as on the field. Second, some of your upperclass teammates may have had some of the same classes that you're taking now. Talk to them and see what help they can give you. Finally, don't forget about the free tutoring in the library and Lawrence Towers. The students who provide the tutoring are very capable, and can often provide you with the help you need. Remember, if you don't have the grades, you can't play. Playing a sport for the university is a privilege, just like driving. If you keep getting speeding tickets, you get your license taken away. In the same way, too many F's will keep you on the bench."

- By Matt Walker

Balancing Studies and Extra-Curricular Activities "Striking the balance between studies and extra-curricular activities is difficult and should be done on a person to person basis. However, in this tip, I would like to emphasize the importance of student clubs and organizations. Beyond the phrase 'looks good on your resume'--which is true indeed--active participation in a student organization or club has other benefits. Nearly all major areas of study have a club. By participting in these clubs you have the chance to meet others with common interests and faculty who teach some of the major courses. Other organizations deal with issues not directly related to your field of study. Examples include service organizations related to specific hobbies, such as the Ski Club or Planetarium Club. Contact your campus Student Activities Office for more information. Have fun and GET INVOLVED."

- By David Hurd

10:11 PM by SOOCH · 0

Tips for Effective Studying

Tips for Effective Studying

In order to excel in college, you must first learn how to study properly. Contrary to historical opinion, there are many effective ways to learn information; it is a question of figuring out what works for you. What type of studying best suits you? What time of day are you most efficient? What is the proper environment for you to study in? Before you can answer these questions, you have to do a little research. It takes an effort but the rewards are more than worth it.

Memory 

When we first learn something, information is processed into the brain to form a neural trace. This trace first enters your sensory memory, and then, if you're paying attention, to your Short Term Memory, or STM. If you keep working to process the information and adapt it correctly it then moves to your Long Term Memory, or LTM. The information processed into your LTM is more or less permanent; with occasional reviewing you will not forget it. The trick is to adapt the information you really need into your LTM as quickly as possible. Your STM has a small capacity and a short duration; you may learn something very quickly, but in 24 hours you will lose 80% of that information. The STM is fast and easily accessed, the LTM is slower but larger.

Repetition

The key to learning something well is repetition; the more times you go over the material the better chance you have of storing it permanently. Before you begin this process, however, it makes sense that you determine the type of learner you are. There are three basic types of learning: Visual, Auditory and Haptic. Most of us are, in fact, some combination of the three, but chances are one style will suit us more than the other two. Take some time to look over the types and figure out which category best describes your method of learning. Learning Types Visual Learners:

Visual learners study best when the material is graphic, ie. charts, tables, maps, etc. When in class, visual people should look at the professors when they are speaking, participate in class discussions and take detailed notes during lectures. When studying, study alone in a quiet place and try to transcribe your material on paper. When possible make drawings, graphs or tables of complex abstract ideas and work alone. Visual learners often have trouble working while having a dialogue, even if the dialogue directly pertains to the subject matter.

Auditory Learners:

Auditory people work best when they can hear the material. Read aloud, go over your notes and talk to yourself about the important points. Before reading, set a purpose and verbalize it, after you've finished be sure to summarize out loud what you just read. Speak your ideas into a tape machine as if you were having a conversation with someone, if you can, talk to your friends about the material. Because Auditory learners sometimes have trouble keeping columns aligned, try doing math computations by hand, on graph paper.

Haptic Learners:

Haptic learners are the most maligned division; they are the people that can't sit still. Haptics have to pace around the room, they must have music or a television playing in the background and are almost constantly finding themselves distracted. Despite what parents and teachers have been saying to the contrary, Haptic learning is just as effective as the other two, more traditional, types. Instead of fighting against your nature, adapt to it and find a method that really works. Make studying more physical; work at a standing desk, pace around the room, do reading while on an exercise bike, chew gum. Try to use color when you can; highlight your readings, read with a filtered light, put posters and bright colors around your desk. Haptic people should vary their activities, if you feel frustrated or 'clogged up' do something different for a few minutes. Try and keep a list of distractions as they come to you; once you write them down, they won't bother your concentration as much. If you want to, play music in the background at whatever volume you choose to. When reading, try skimming over the chapter to get a solid basic meaning before you really dig in. Try to visualize complex projects from start to finish before you begin them. Visualization is a useful tool for Haptic people, it helps you keep a positive, productive outlook on the task at hand.

SQ3R

The SQ3R method is the reading and studying system preferred by many educators. Reading research indicates that it is an extremely effective method for both comprehension and memory retention. It's effective because it is a system of active reader involvement.

Step 1. "S"= Survey Before you actually read a chapter, or go over a particular section of notes, take five minutes to survey the material. Briefly check headings and subheadings in order to understand the author's organizational pattern of ideas to be discussed. Scan all visual material. Read introductory and summary paragraphs. This preview will enable you to anticipate what the chapter is about.

Step 2. "Q"= Question Create interest in the material by asking: What are the main points of the chapter? As you read, keep the question in mind and figure out the most important points. It gives you a clearly defined purpose for reading, and helps you maintain interest in the material.

Step 3. "R"= Read Read the chapter actively for meaning. Go through the paragraph before underlining, then underline key words and phrases to help you recall the main points. Be selective, you don't want to highlight non-important points or miss anything that can help your comprehension. Summarize main concepts in your own words in the margins. The more active you are in the reading process, the more you will retain.

Step 4. "R"= Recite After every few pages, close your book and recite aloud the main points to the questions you posed in step 2. Try to recall basic details as to the author's intent by putting them in your own words. Verify your answer by checking the text. If you can't remember the text, read through it again. If you don't get it now, you won't remember it for a test. Take as much time as you need to answer your questions. Don't be frustrated, this takes more time but the information will be clearer in your mind.

Step 5. "R"= Review Finally, review the chapter every so often to fix the material in your mind. Keep rereading your margin notes and underlinings. Verbalize the sequence of main ideas and supporting facts to aid retention. Numerous reviews are a lot more effective than one cramming session the night before an exam. Review once right after you've finished reading and then every couple of days. The SQ3R is time consuming at first, expect it to take ten to fifteen percent longer to read a given chapter when you first begin. Research indicates a 70%% increase in retention after two months of using the system and, eventually, a reduction in time spent preparing for exams.

Note Taking Techniques

The most comprehensive note taking systems require attention on your part. You must be alert enough in class to take legible, meaningful notes. You can't rely on "writing everything down" because a lot of information in a given lecture won't help you actually learn the material. If you have problems determining the specific relevant points in a particular class, you can always ask the professor to clarify them for you. The 2-6 Method The 2-6 refers to the way you divide the space on your notepaper. Make two columns, using the red line on the left of the page as your border. Then, when you take notes in class, use the 6 column for the notes and the smaller 2 column on the left as a highlighting system. Write main headings and important points on the left, including material you think you will be tested on. When you're finished, you should have a comprehensive page of information that you can quickly scan for important points. Finally If you have any questions or need more help, stop by and talk to one of our counselors. Studying is 99%% perspiration; if you give it a real, concentrated effort over the course of a semester you will see an improvement. Your academic success is entirely up to you.

By George Mason University

10:09 PM by SOOCH · 0

Concentration Tips for students

Concentration Tips

The art or practice of concentration is to eliminate distraction and focus on the task at hand. If you find that you read through material and suddenly discover that you have no idea about what you've just read, or if you attend lectures and have difficulty paying attention to what is being said, these tips may help:

• Stick to a routine, efficient study schedule
• Study in a quiet environment
• For a study break, do something different from what you've been doing (e.g., walk around if you've been sitting), and in a different area
• Avoid daydreaming by asking yourself questions about the material as you study it
• Before lectures, look over the notes of the previous lecture and read the course material pertaining to the lecture so that you can anticipate the main ideas that the instructor will cover
• Show outward interest during lectures (attentive expression and posture) to self-motivate internal interest
• Resist distractions by sitting in front of the room away from disruptive classmates and by focusing on the instructor through listening and note taking

J. R. Hayes, The Complete Problem Solver, Franklin Institute Press, 1981

10:07 PM by SOOCH · 0

कामवासना र प्रेम

पुष्पा शर्मा reference http://www.ekantipur.com/saptahik/article/?id=6659

हाम्रा ऋषिमुनि र गुरुहरूले कामवासनालाई सधैं हेयको दृष्टिले हेरे। उनीहरूले के बुझेनन् भने उनीहरू जसका कारणले जन्मिए, त्यसैलाई गाली गरिरहेका छन्। कामवासना बिनासृष्टि चल्दैन। यो ईश्वरद्वारा मानवलाई दिएको सर्वोत्तम उपहार हो। कामवासना प्रेमको अंश हो। यदि कामवासनाबाट प्रेम हटाइदिने हो भने त्यो कुरूप बन्न पुग्छ। प्रेमले सेक्सलाई सौन्दर्यबोध गराइदिन्छ। मात्र सेक्स प्लास्टिकको फूल हो भने प्रेमयुक्त सेक्स बगैंचामा फूलेको प्राकृतिक फूल हो। सेक्सका सम्बन्धमा एउटा रमाइलो कुरा छ। जो प्रेमले ओतप्रोत भएको सेक्स छ, त्यो उज्यालोमा सम्भव छैन। कुनै पनि प्रेमवान व्यक्तिले उज्यालोमा यो क्रिया सम्पन्न गर्ने प्रयास गर्दैन। पशु वा पशुतुल्य मानिस मात्र उज्यालोमा सेक्सको चाहना राख्छन्। प्रेमयुक्त सेक्स त्यसबेला सम्भव छ, जव प्रेमका सबै तह पार हुन्छन् र त्यसभन्दा अझ उज्यालोमा जान ती जोडी प्रयत्नशील हुन्छन्। रात्री, एकान्त एवं सम्पूर्णताको अनुभूति प्राप्त गर्न सेक्स गरिन्छ, उज्यालोमा भय प्रकट हुन्छ। प्रेममा भय ? यो साह्रै असुहाउँदो शब्द हुन जान्छ। यदि सेक्समा कुनै पनि अंशमा भय वा अन्य कुनै पक्ष हाबी भयो भने त्यसमा प्रेम छैन भन्ने बुझे हुन्छ। 

कुनै पनि स्त्री खुला आँखाले सेक्स गर्न सक्दिनन्। सुन्दा अचम्म लाग्न सक्छ, सेक्समा पुरुषको तुलनामा महिलाले त्यसको आत्मीय आनन्द लिन्छन्। त्यसमा प्रेमको अनुभव बढी महिलाले नै गर्छन्। उनलाई सेक्सको चरम अवस्थाबाहेक अरू कुराको बोध हुँदैन। महिलाहरू अश्लील हुँदैनन्, त्यसैले उनीहरू यसमा बढी आनन्द लिन्छन्। जो बढी अश्लील छ, उसले सेक्सको गहिराइ र त्यसमा उत्पन्न प्रेम बुझ्न सकेको हुँदैन। कामवासना प्रेमको पूरक हो भन्ने कुरा श्लील महिलालाई भन्दा बढी अरूलाई थाहा हुँदैन। 

त्यसैले स्त्रीका धेरै नग्न चित्र बनाइन्छन्। किनभने पुरुषलाई स्त्री देहमा रुचि छ, महिलालाई छैन। सामान्य स्त्री कहिल्यै पनि नाङ्गो पुरुषको कल्पना गर्दिनन्, तर पुरुष ? संसारमा जति पनि महिलाका चित्र बनेका छन्, ती पुरुषको बिना प्रेमको सेक्सबाट उत्पन्न इच्छाहरू हुन्। कलात्मक चित्र त्यसको अपवाद हुन सक्छ। जबसम्म सेक्समा शरीरको कल्पना रहन्छ, तबसम्म त्यो सेक्स दिव्य वा प्रेमपूर्ण हुन सक्दैन, तर जब कुनै व्यक्ति कसैप्रति प्रेमभावले ओतप्रोत हुन्छ, त्यो व्यक्ति नजानिँदो किसिमले त्यसप्रति कामवासनाले भरिन थाल्छ। कामवासनाको अर्थ त्यसको गहिराइलाई प्राप्त गर्नु हो। बाहिरी आकर्षणबाट त्यो गहिराइ प्राप्त गर्न सकिँदैन। 

त्यसको कुनै चरण हुन्छ। जब कोही व्यक्ति कसैप्रति अति प्रेमभावले भरिन्छ, उसका लागि उसलाई प्राप्त गर्ने चाहना हराउँछ। उसको प्रेम नै कामवासना तिरोहित गर्ने साधन बन्न पुग्छ। कसैलाई लाग्न सक्छ, प्रेमले सेक्सको चाहना तिरोहित हुन्छ। होइन, प्रेमको तीव्रताले यति ठूलो फड्को मार्छ कि सेक्सको चाहना नै बाँकी रहदैन। अंग्रेजी शब्द सेक्सले एक अर्कामा विभाजित गर्छ, त्यसमा दुईको प्राप्त गर्ने चाहना हुन्छ। जब प्रेमभित्र सेक्स बाँकी रहँदैन, त्यसबेला दुवैको छुट्टाछुट्टै चाहना बाँकी रहँदैन, दुवै प्रेममा हुन्छन्, अर्थात् गहिरो प्रेमको अवस्थामा सेक्स निरर्थक बन्न पुग्छ। 

अब हामी वास्तविक प्रेमका विषयमा प्रवेश गर्दैछौं। जब कुनै युवाले (स्त्री होस् वा पुरुष) कसैसँग कामवासनाको पूर्ति गर्छ, त्यसबेला लाग्न सक्छ, सेक्सले एक-अर्कालाई जोड्ने काम गर्‍यो। अझ नजिक बनायो। क्षणिक अर्थमा सेक्सले दुई व्यक्तिलाई जोड्छ, जोडिएको भ्रम दिन्छ। यद्यपि गहिरो अर्थमा त्यसले एक-अर्कालाई टाढा पुर्‍याउँछ। प्रत्येक शारीरिक सम्पर्कपछि मानिस केही हतासा, निराशाको घेरामा परेको महसुस गर्छ। अघिको तीव्र प्रेम केही मिनेटको संसर्गले अचानक घटेको महसुस हुन्छ। अघिको पि्रयतम वा प्रेयसीभित्रको स्वप्नील यात्रा केही समयका लागि तिरोहित हुन्छ। त्यसो भए अघिको प्रेम कहाँ पुग्यो ? सेक्सले प्रेमलाई तृप्त गर्‍यो कि प्रेमबाट टाढा पुर्‍यायो। 

दुई प्रेमी-प्रेमिकाको अनुहारमा सेक्स गर्नुअघिको आभा रहँदैन। सेक्सपछि दुवैले एक-अर्कालाई स्नेह गर्छन् तर माया गर्न सक्दैनन्। प्रेम र स्नेह फरक कुरा हुन् तर उनीहरूको स्नेह त्यही प्रेम हो भन्ने भ्रम पर्न सक्छ। प्रेम त समागममा बगिसक्यो। जस्तो कुनै फलको गुदी थाहा नपाई निस्कियो तर बोक्रा छँदैछ। प्रेमी प्रेमीका त्यसैलाई फल मान्ने भूल गर्छन्। यसरी प्रेमको वास्तविक रूप खण्डित हुन्छ। बाँकी हुनुपथ्र्यो, सेक्सअघिको प्रेम। गम्भीर प्रार्थना, जीवन सौन्दर्यको, तर स्नेह मात्र रहन गयो, एक अर्कामा। यसरी सेक्सले प्रेम खण्डित गर्‍यो, गरिरहनेछ। यो अर्थमा धेरै ऋषिमुनि वा गुरुहरूले कामवासनालाई बर्जित गरेका हुनसक्छन्। तर म भन्छु— यदि कसैले सेक्स नगरी प्रेमको महत्व कसरी बुझ्न सक्छ ? जबकि भन्नुपर्छ, पहिले प्रेमको अनुभव गर। त्यसपछि सेक्सको अनुभव गर। त्यसपछि प्रेम र सेक्सबीचमा आएका अप्ठयाराहरूको अनुभव गर। अनि बल्ल बुझ, तिम्रो जीवन कहाँ अड्किएको छ, प्रेममा वा सेक्समा ? 

सारा अस्तित्व प्रेममय छ। वृक्षले प्रेम गर्छ पृथ्वीलाई। प्रेम नगर्ने हो भने पृथ्वीमा वृक्ष सम्भव थिएन। सामान्य व्यक्तिलाई लाग्न सक्छ, जराले पृथ्वी र रूखबीचको अस्तित्वलाई कायम राख्छ, तर गम्भीर भएर विचार गर्ने हो भने जरा र पृथ्वीबीच प्रेमको सम्बन्ध छ। सम्पूर्ण अस्तित्व, सम्पूर्ण ब्रम्हाण्ड घुम्छ प्रेमका कारण। एक्लो सत्य निकै रूखो हुन्छ। त्यसमा प्रेम जोड्ने हो भने सत्य पनि रमाइलो लाग्न सक्छ। 

केवल एक प्रेमपूर्ण आलिंगनमा पहिलो पटक देहले आकार लिन्छ। प्रेमिकाले तिम्रो देहलाई आकार दिन्छिन्। उनको आलिंगनले तिमी प्रेमपूर्ण छौ भन्ने सन्देश दिन्छ। हिजोसम्म तिम्रो देश मरुस्थल थियो, प्रेमीको एक आलिंगनले त्यो मरुस्थलमा धान फल्न थाल्छ। तिम्रो प्रेमीको प्रेमले तिमी हुनुको अस्तित्व प्रदान गर्छ। उसको प्रेमले आफू हुनुको अर्थ दिन्छ। आफू अर्थात् आत्म हुनुको गौरव प्रदान गर्छ। कसैले तिमीलाई पहिलो पटक प्रेम गर्न पुग्यो भने तिमी कति सजग र सचेत हुन्छौ, कुनै न कुनै बेला सबैले अनुभव गरेकै कुरा हो। यो अनुभव न मन्दिरमा गएर गरेको कुनै प्रार्थनाले दिन्छ, न कुनै विशेष समाजसेवाले। देहले पहिलो पटक ईश्वरको द्वार खुलेको अनुभव गराउँछ। 

आलिंगनले एक अर्काको शरीरलाई बुझ्न मद्दत गर्छ। कामवासना अर्काको देह बुझ्ने माध्यम बन्न पुग्छ। यही प्रक्रिया अघि बढ्दै जाँदा तिमीलाई तिम्रो शरीरका कारण प्राप्त हुने अनुभवलाई गाढा बनाउँदै लान्छ। कामवासनाले तिमीलाई देहधारी बनाउँछ। प्रेमले तिमी शरीरमात्र होइनौ, अरू केही हौ भन्ने अनुभूति दिन्छ। अर्थात तिमी आत्मा हौ भन्ने भावना विकसित गराउँछ। पहिलो घेरा तिमी शरीर हौ भन्ने भावना, दोस्रो घेरा तिमी आत्मा हौ भन्ने भावना। कामवासनाले पहिलो घेराको अनुभूति दिन्छ, प्रेमले दोस्रो घेराको अनुभूति दिन्छ। अब तेस्रो घेरातर्फ अघि बढ्ने हो भने प्रार्थना, ध्यान तर्फ लाग्नुपर्छ। यसले तिमीलाई ब्रम्हसम्म पुग्न मद्दत गर्छ। 

यी तीन चरण छन्, कामवासनाबाट प्रेम अनी प्रार्थनासम्म पुग्न। प्रेमका धेरै आयाम हुन सक्छन्। प्रेम ऊर्जा हो। यो ऊर्जा युवा अवस्थामा कतै गएर पोख्ने कि ऊर्जाको क्षमतालाई महसुस गर्ने ? भन्ने कुरा व्यक्तिको आफ्नो हातमा हुन्छ। 

प्रेमः आनन्दको अभिव्यक्ति

धन हुने व्यक्तिले धन दिन सक्छ, गरीवले दिन सक्दैन। रिसाहा व्यक्तिले रिस नै दिन्छ, प्रेम दिन सक्दैन। जो व्यक्तिसँग प्रेम छ, उसले घृणा दिन सक्दैन। प्रेम गर्ने व्यक्तिले प्रेमको माग गर्दैन, ऊसँग भएको कुरा उसलाई किन चाहियो र ? यो संसारमा त्यो व्यक्तिले मात्र प्रेम दिन सक्छ, जसलाई अरूबाट प्रेम चाहिएकै छैन। महावीर, बुद्ध यस्ता व्यक्ति हुन् जसले मानिसलाई प्रेम मात्र दिन सक्थे। 

प्रेमको वास्तविक अर्थ हो दिनु। प्रेम गर्नेले गुनासो गर्दैन, केवल प्रेम गर्छ। यदि कसैले म तिमीलाई प्रेम गर्छु भन्छ, तर यसो भएन, उसो भएन भनेर गुनासो गर्छ भने बुझ्नुपर्छ, यसले तिमीलाई प्रेम गर्दैन। तिमीले प्रेम गरे म प्रेम गर्छु नगरे गर्दिनँ भन्यो भने त्यो प्रेमी होइन, व्यापारी हो। व्यापारमा लेनदेन हुन्छ, प्रेममा होइन। 

आज स-साना कुरामा प्रेमी-प्रेमीका छुट्टिन्छन्। आखिर किन ? कारण के भने दुईबीचको लेनदेनमा गडबड भयो। यसको अर्थ हो, मैले प्रेमी वा प्रेमीकासँग जति र जसरी चाहेको थिएँ, अर्कोले त्यति र त्यसरी दिन सकेन। प्रेमीले सोच्यो मैले दिएँ... तर अर्कोले त्यति प्रतिफल प्राप्त गर्न सकेन। यतिमै सबै प्रकारको लेनदेन बिग्रन्छ। वाहिर हेर्दा प्रेम बिछोड देखिन्छ, तर भित्री कुरा के हो भने दुवैबीच लेनदेन बिगि्रएको रहेछ। जहाँ प्रेमको अर्थ लिनु होइन, दिनु मात्र रहन्छ, त्यसबेला प्रेम टुट्दैन, बरु झाँगिदै जान्छ। जुन स्थानमा प्रेमलाई दिने वस्तुका रूपमा बुझिन्छ, त्यस्तो स्थानमा ईश्वरले चाहेर पनि त्यो प्रेम टुटाउन सक्दैनन्। प्रेममा कुनै कन्डिसन हुनुहुँदैन, निःसर्तता नै प्रेमको वास्तविक रूप हो। 

प्रेममा त्यो व्यक्ति पर्छ, जो आनन्दित हुन्छ। जो दुःखी छ, त्यस्तो व्यक्तिले अरूलाई प्रेम दिन सक्दैन, उसले प्रेमको माग मात्र गर्छ। प्रेम यसकारण माग्छ कि उसको दुःख सकियोस्। आखिर प्रेमको माग किन गरिन्छ ? दुःख हटाउन। सबै दुःखी व्यक्ति प्रेम चाहन्छन्, अरूबाट। यदि कसैले भन्छ म तिमीलाई प्रेम गर्छु, त्यसबेला बुझ्नुपर्छ ऊ भित्र दुःखी छ। दुःखी व्यक्तिबाट प्रेमको आशा राख्नु मुर्खता हो। 

म एकपल्ट फेरि सम्झाउँछु। यसलाई राम्रोसँग बुझ। कोही व्यक्ति दुःखी छ, उसले प्रेमको माग गर्छ। यदि कोही व्यक्ति सुखी छ भने उसले तिमीलाई आनन्दित तुल्याउँछ। तिमीसँग प्रेमको माग गर्नु र तिमीलाई आनन्द दिनु दुई फरक कुरा हुन्। जो व्यक्ति आनन्दित छ, उसले दुःखीलाई पनि सुखी तुल्याउँछ। उसको छेउमा आनन्द बषिर्रहेको हुन्छ। तिमी भिखारीसँग जीवन बिताउन चाहन्छौ कि आनन्दसँग, त्यो तिम्रो निर्णय हो।

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